Built on the Art of Listening

You’re Not Listening: What You Are Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy
Celadon Books, January 1, 2020

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Becoming good at important conversations is part of teaching and learning. Knowing when to speak, how to persuade, who to include, and what to question are essential skills in classrooms and in life. This book focuses on the part of conversation that is often less celebrated – the art of listening. Author and journalist Kate Murphy has gathered both the research on what is happening to our listening skills and the evidence of the costs of failing to hear each other. As she describes the current social challenges to true listening, readers may feel the jolt of recognition, finding that these sound all too familiar: egos that are too loud, a talkative culture, hasty exchanges that preclude depth, fixed mindsets, broadcasting mode standing in for debate, and the tendency to equate sensitivity with weakness. Fortunately, Murphy does not leave us with no way out. She cajoles in a way that can be heard. For example, chapter titles like “I Know What You Are Going to Say: Assumptions as Earplugs” invite attention without hectoring. In establishing that listening is a requirement of change, respect, and trust-making, Murphy reminds us of the most important reason to become better listeners: the art of human connection is built on the art of listening.